I just celebrated my third year of reunion with my natural family. Well, almost. The anniversary of my reunion with my natural mom was Feb 19; my reunion with my natural dad will be celebrated on April 9.
A lot has happened in those three years. I’ve been introduced to lots of family members. I’ve been told about others who don’t know about me. I’ve celebrated the birth of new family members. I’ve mourned the death of others. I’ve spent countless hours on Skype getting to know my natural mom. I’ve spent a few treasured hours on my natural dad’s back porch. I’ve awakened on some mornings wondering what in the world I’m doing with a stranger living in my house (for those who haven’t been reading my posts, my natural mom moved into our home to aid in the establishment of our relationship). I’ve awakened on other mornings in awe that I’ve been blessed with this opportunity.
Despite the monumental nature of all these things, on most days, I just live my life and none of it seems like a very big deal. I have two moms, two dads, three brothers, four nieces, two sisters-in-law, nine uncles, six aunts, and lots (and lots) of cousins. And that just counts my adoptive family and my natural mom’s family. And it’s just my family. No big deal. And, yet, the biggest deal ever. And that’s what three years of reunion feels like to me.
3 thoughts on “Reunion: Year Three”
I love your take on family as being everyone, no labels, no big deal. You make what must be a difficult situation sound easy, and I’m sure it’s not. Sandra
I’m on year 23 or 24 with my birth Mother; unfortunately, after the first warm rush of promise, dinners, a key to the house, sleep overs, letters and countless other rituals of getting to know you, the relationship has turned cold. She’s only ever visited me once, never calls, almost never responds to my adventures and travels with even a Like. I understand the first rejection – life for a pregnant middle class young woman in a sleepy English village in the 60s and all that – but this second, ongoing rejection? Well, its not even rejection. I could message her now, suggest lunch and she’d say, Yes. But that Yes, I’m pretty sure, means No.
I’m so delighted that my experience is not yours. I look on with joy and some degree of envy. x
Harry, I am very sorry to hear your reunion hasn’t continued to be a warm rush in your life. I have no idea how/why your birth mother would have seemingly grown cold, but I know it’s NOT about you. And those reflections you described in your prior post (e.g. your wife, kids) are much more telling about who you are. Becky